Finding My Way Back, One Step at a Time
This is not a blog post with the perfect ending.. because its still being written
We all have a deep desire to belong—whether it’s in our jobs, our friendships, or within a community. We want to feel connected, seen, and surrounded. I believe that longing exists because we were created for connection—to walk in relationship with the Lord and with one another. When humanity was removed from Eden, that desire didn’t disappear—it remained. Some of us find their belonging in church, or book clubs or among strangers in similar seasons. Some of us struggle to connect with anyone at all because we have unmet expectations or maybe no motivation to try.
For over a year, I’ve been searching for a church community where I feel seen, fed, and genuinely connected—and I haven’t found it yet. It’s been several years since I was rooted into a church, I left with some church hurt where I had to work through some deep wounds of value and identity. I spent a season really walking with the Lord alongside a small group of mentors and friends and got so much healing. Then the life shift came - I was moving! The door opened to leave the tiny town I’d been in for just over a year and go to the big city!! Dallas! I was SO excited.
Ask anyone with ears around that time, all I could talk about was how I was getting to the city, finding a church and community and going to be so involved with things around me. It was on my 2024 vision board and I was hyper fixated on it. This was MY year! So I made my list of what I wanted and started doing my research and making my visit list. I was so confident - until it was time to walk through those doors. Church shopping alone is probably one of the hardest things to do. I found myself slipping in and out to avoid talking to anyone, I was also not going past one service without deciding it just wasn’t the right fit. Then I got discouraged and stopped trying which led to depression of being isolated and alone.
This went on the entire year - I talked about wanting to find a church but did nothing to change it. One of my biggest struggles I’ve faced in looking for a church was not in finding good teaching or worship—it was finding a like-minded community. As a single woman in my 30s, it often feels like church is built for everyone but people like me.
One quick browse through any church community group page and it’s easy to see there’s a buzzing young adult presence, full of college students and early 20s figuring out life. And then there’s the family crowd—married couples with and without kids, serving in every ministry and leading small groups. But what about the in-between?
I don’t want a singles ministry that feels like a matchmaking event or a leftover group. I want community of people in my season, who are living their best lives without a spouse either by choice or it’s just not their time. It’s discouraging to want connection but feel like you’re floating in between categories that the church doesn’t always know how to hold. I was my own worst enemy though, I was passing judgement before I walked through the doors, some not even making it past the website.
It’s taken me a year to realize that my expectations and checkboxes were actually the wall that was keeping me from the thing I was trying to search for, a place to belong. I didn’t let God lead me, I took the steering wheel and tried to do it my own way and go so, so lost. I was so focused on finding somewhere that would give me community that I didn’t look for Jesus. I was searching for the right thing, the wrong way.
So here I am, one year almost to the day, ready to try again. Maybe you’re here too—sitting in the tension between desire and discouragement. Maybe you have a church but still feel disconnected, or maybe you’ve stopped searching altogether because it feels too hard, too exhausting, too lonely.
Wherever you are, I want to remind you: belonging isn’t found in a perfectly curated group or a church that checks all the boxes. It’s found in the presence of God—and the courage to keep showing up.
I don’t have a neat ending or a perfect church story to wrap this up with. But I do have a renewed heart. One that’s willing to lay down the pressure to find the “perfect fit” and pick up the invitation to be with Jesus again.
This time, I’m asking Him to lead.
This time, I’m choosing to try—not with a checklist, but with an open heart.
This time, I’m seeking Him before I seek the crowd.
And I believe community will come, not because I forced it, but because God is faithful to meet us in our seeking.
PS — If you're in the Dallas area and have a church you love, I'd genuinely love to hear about it!
Searching for Community Wherever You Are
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Searching for Community Wherever You Are 〰️
You might be showing up to church every week and still feel alone. Or maybe you’ve been sitting on the sidelines, unsure of where to even begin. Whether you’re feeling disconnected in a space you’ve known for years or stepping into something new, you’re not the only one searching for community that truly fits.
If you’re longing for deeper connection, I want to invite you into this simple reflection challenge. It’s not about fixing everything overnight—it’s about letting God meet you where you are, and taking one small, intentional step forward.
Get Honest About Where You Are
Write out a prayer or journal entry being honest with God about your desire for connection. No shame—just truth.
Where am I feeling lonely or unseen right now?
Have I been hoping others would reach out first, or have I pulled back in self-protection?
What would community look like for me in this season?
Invite God Into the Search
Pray: “God, I invite You into this desire. Guide me to the right people, open my heart where it’s grown guarded, and help me notice the connections You’re already placing around me.”
Am I open to God’s idea of community—not just what I imagined?
Are there opportunities around me that I’ve overlooked because they didn’t fit my picture?
Take One Small Step Toward Connection
Choose one thing this week that pushes you just a little closer to the people God may be placing in your path:
If you’re church searching: visit one new place, and take note of how it feels—not just how it performs.
If you already attend somewhere:
Introduce yourself to someone new.
Stay a few minutes longer in the lobby.
Ask about joining a group, serving team, or attending an event.
Message someone you’ve been meaning to connect with and invite them to coffee or lunch.
Look for the Glimmers
Write down any moment where God reminds you: “You’re not alone. I see you. I’m working.” You don’t need a whole group to feel community—sometimes, it starts with one glimmer of connection.
A smile.
A shared story.
A feeling of peace in a new room.
Community doesn’t always arrive in the way we expect—but that doesn’t mean it isn’t coming. Sometimes it starts with a quiet decision, a simple hello, or a brave step into the unknown. As you keep seeking, trusting, and staying open, remember this: God is not just watching your search—He's in it with you. And He’s already working to place you exactly where you’re meant to be.
